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Friday, March 18, 2016

LOVE WHAT MATTERS IN RELATIONSHIPS




What is the meaning of the word “love” to you?  What thoughts does it conjure up when you think about it?  How do you measure it? How do you define it? Do you really know what it feels like? Have you ever experienced the purity of it?
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides," David Viscott said.  I agree and can add few of my own definitions to it.  Love is the only but forgotten purpose of life.  True love is eternal and unconditional, not something you can turn on and off as you so desire. Love is the difference between “you” and “me” and “us”. 
True love isn't about passion or lust or attraction or common interests and personalities. It's something altogether different. It's about learning to complement each other, learning to grow with each other. It's about doing love-things, even when you don't feel like it, even when things in life drive you to insanity. It's about commitment and perseverance and thinking and feeling and joy. It’s about understanding, feeling, appreciation and gratitude.
There are many different meanings we attach to the word love, but the most important aspect of all of them, and probably the only one that applies across all meanings, is the promise not to betray. Commitment to love is guaranteed joy in this physical life.  True and unconditional love touches everyone’s life all the time.  The love of “The Source”.  The one undeniable continuous shower of caring and protecting.  This type of love only few human can offer.  The ones that have kept their connection to The Source, The All.  The Gandhi’s, Mother Teresa’s, Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, Moses and the list goes on.
If I had the chance to be in the presence of one of these great figures, what would I want from them? Would it be love? And if they offered me that would I need anything else? I can tell you with utmost certainty the famous cliché “All you need is Love, Love, Love is all you need”.  Exchanging that for anything would mean forgetting the very purpose of my life.
In a healthy and long term couple relationship, there are some things to look for:
·         Strong couples have their own friends and some mutual friends too. True love means that you and your lover both have your own set of friends that you enjoy hanging out with. True love doesn't mean spending every minute of every day together; it means feeling secure enough that you don't feel jealous or needy if your partner spends time with his or her friends. On the other hand, having a group of mutual friends that you both have something in common with, is also important to the success of the relationship.
·         Men and women in healthy relationships can spend time alone without feeling lonely. People who feel loved and secure don't need constant attention or companionship from their spouses or partners. Each person in a healthy relationship should be able to spend time alone doing things that they enjoy without feeling the need to check-in or check-up on what the other person is doing.
·         In a true love relationship, you’ll feel that your individuality is respected and honored. People who are in healthy relationships feel that their ideas, opinions and experiences are appreciated.
·         True love means having the courage to let go of past hurts and being able to forgive one another when one of you makes a mistake. We all make mistakes in life; some mistakes are bigger than others, but couples who are truly in love find ways to talk about those mistakes and move past them in healthy and productive ways.
·         True love will fill all the gaps not allowing anyone or anything to penetrate the unity.
True love sees nothing but love. All other loves require conditions to be met before you consider yourself happy. Most divorces happen because of this second type of love.
Before you get into a relationship, question yourself: How much do I love this person? Is my love for him/her going to be enough? If the love of person you are getting involved with is enough, you will only see the good in the relationship.  In most relationships we make a garbage bag out of ourselves.  We go around and fill our bag every little annoyance and dislike.  We see this being common in many relationships whether it is business or personal.  Don’t be a garbage bag for life.  Be a bag full of love with no room for any nonsense. 

Live in Light!
EL

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